Top 10 reasons (during Christmas) that the Bible Can’t Be True


  1. THE THREE KINGS brought gold frankincense and myrrh….HA!  Everyone knows that Santa brings the gifts.
  2. Better to give than to receive?  Yeah, right.  We know better.
  3. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer?  God wouldn’t let that happen if He was all-loving, even if she was a nagging, unbearable hag.
  4. Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus use magic and the bible says that magic is a sin.   There ain’t no way Santa and Frost’T need to repent. The are such good people (and snow).
  5. God apparently hates gluttony…You mean to tell me homeboy Santa lives in sin every Christmas Eve and WE all cause him to stumble by leaving the stumbling blocks of cookies?
  6. This whole “grace thing” that says naughty people can be rewarded and God keeps no records of wrongs…..  However, the songs say that the naughty people on the naughty list are NOT rewarded.
  7. I don’t care HOW KIND and meek Mary is.  Joseph would have been a dead dog for not figuring another birth location out.
  8. Virgin birth.  right.  Don’t you know that Science’s job is not limited to exploring truth.  It actually gets to dictate and establish truth.  So, since the supernatural can’t be studied through the scientific method, science gets to say “NO SUCH THING.”  Without using the scientific method, I might add.
  9. If Baby Jesus had a halo, was raising His hands to worship God, and had a 12-year-old face on a newborn baby’s body, Mary and Joseph would have run for their lives.
  10. Save your e-mails, comments and mean words.  We love Jesus, can’t wait to see Him face to face and are glad He has the best sense of humor of all of us.

Merry Christmas From the UN – learning crew,

Toby, Matt, and Joey

What do you think?

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